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Sensational Smashery

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Because She Hulk is good 4th wall smashing fun. And because green skin is apparently really fun to shade. Story by Darien.
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Gamma Radiation.
That was what she'd tell Bruce. In a round about sort of way it was true. Gamma Radiation had transformed mild mannered Jennifer Susan Walters into the green bombshell known to the world as She-Hulk. Gamma Radiation had endowed her with super strength, agility, endurance and... endowments. And she'd made a point of using every one of her super powers. Especially the endowments. And unfortunately exercising them could result in things like, er... Well, she could get knocked up.
She had gotten knocked up.
Of course, that wasn't the version of the story she'd be telling her cousin. No, that would just bother Bruce far too much. She'd tell him that some super villain or another had been building a gamma bomb that exploded and bathed her in a second dose of Gamma Radiation which had, err, sent her ovaries into over drive and resulted in her Gamma Belly.
No, wait, that was terrible. He'd never believe that, he actually did Science.
Then again, he was the man who had been caught in the blast of a Nuclear Bomb and, rather than being blown to bits, given the ability to transform into a giant radioactive sometimes monstrosity sometimes savior. If that made sense couldn't she be Gamma Pregnant?
"This is stupid." she told herself. "I should just tell him the truth. It's not like it's any of his business anyway."
... but no. That wasn't a good idea. Whether or not, rationally speaking, her cousin should have any say in which super folk she happens to super sleep with was sort of moot point when you remembered his temper. If she didn't break the subject very gently, Hulk might be tempted to Smash whoever layed a finger on his poor demure cousin. After he'd smashed a couple of faces in he'd probably wilt back into Bruce Banner and start moaning about how he'd ruined her life with the curse of Gamma Radiation, and how she could never have possibly gotten pregnant if it weren't for him.
To put it bluntly, Bruce had a lot more problems crammed between his ears than she had even within the generous expanse of her belly.
It would help if she could remember which super partner was the super father. Her cover story would be so much stronger if she knew in advance whether she'd be giving birth to an invulnerable emerald titan, or a regenerating jade bundle. Or bundles. Whatever the number of offspring, it'd help to make up some sort of gamma radiation that might give babies super speed or something, rather than explaining where such mysterious powers came from.
Hmmm. Perhaps she was getting a little busy. It wasn't like she was a nymphomaniac or anything. It was just amazing how many super powered men were also ardent feminists, was all.
"... I wonder if anyone likes pregnant girls?" she said, idly.
"..."
"No, no, bad! Bad Jen!" she told herself. "I won't even be pregnant long at this rate." she added, rubbing her already grand stomach. It must've be twins... at least. She was past what any normal woman ought to be at term. She checked her memory very quickly, just to make sure that she wasn't bearing the star sized son of Galactus. That would be embarrassing.
"... still. I've still got it."
She admired her reflection briefly. Automatically, she folded into Demi Moore's Vanity Fair pose. She wasn't quite sure why- especially considering she lacked the essential nude quality- but it just seemed the done thing. When you were pregnant you posed like Demi Moore. At least, if you were a super heroine you did. It made for great covers.
She shook her head and tried to focus on the task at hand.
"Gamma Radiation, Gamma Radiation..." she muttered to herself.
This really was a terrible cover story.
"Bruce?" she called, entering the lab. She strode a few steps before thinking better of it, and sinking into a low, wide waddle. Between her massive hips and seemingly endless legs, she didn't really have to adopt the curious pregnant gait, but hell, she might as well sell the whole pregnant thing. Maybe if she waddled enough and looked sufficiently pregnant, he might briefly overlook the fact that she was a seven foot tall amazon and think that she's a poor distraught creature instead, and actually pity her. Pity was good. There was no Pity Hulk.
Then again, he might just get extra angry at whoever had done this too her. She didn't want to make him angry. She wouldn't like him when he was angry.
She waddled anyway. It was... novel.
"Bruce?"
"Just a minute Jennifer."
Ah, there he was, hunched over a microscope. Predictable, really, he was always obsessed with one experiment or another. He was probably firing gamma radiation at blood cells and seeing what happened. Or working- yet again- on another cure for Hulkism. She didn't particularly mind being huge and green, but he didn't seem so fond of it. Maybe this time he'd invent a cure that didn't just turn him into a Brown Hulk instead, or something.
He had a real knack for that.
She breathed slowly. Gamma Radiation... Gamma Radiation...
Gamma Radiation?
She very briefly roused from her mental rehearsal, to see a huge metal cylinder crashing down towards her.
"... Gamma Radi-"

"Jennifer! Jennifer!"
She blinked. Her head hurt. Why did her head hurt? Was she fighting with Juggernaut again? Had an alien invasion force pumped some sort of knock out drug into her blood stream? And why did she feel such a tiny little hand on her stomach?
Oh, that's right. It wasn't aliens or mutants, she was just pregnant, that was all. And something had hit her on the head.
She looked around blearily. She was on the floor in Bruce's lab. It could've been less than ten seconds since she was knocked out. The metal cannister that hit her was on the floor a few metres away, looking like a huge metal pillar. Some cracked glass along its length was still bleeding green fluid onto the ground.
And Bruce was on top of her, shaking her shoulders.
"Jennifer! Jennifer, wake up?"
"... what happened?" she asked, trying to sit.
"Thank God you're all right..." Bruce gasped. "Don't sit up! I- err... there was an accident. One of the containment units broke and... Gamma Radiation leaked out and must have caused some sort of chain reaction with your ov- er- Jennifer you're..."
He stepped sideways, allowing her view of her familiar stomach.
"You're pregnant." he said. "I- I'm sorry."
She-Hulk blinked.
"Oh. S-so I am. What a... terrible accident. Damn that Gamma Radiation."
Bruce bowed his head in shame.
Huh. So Gamma Radiation really could knock you up. Or at least, Bruce thought it could. She said a silent prayer to, oh, whoever. The Living Tribunal, maybe, whoever God was this week. She had forgotten that sometimes you could get away with a really reallysilly excuse, so long as you lived in a really reallysilly Universe.
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Toms-Lego-Dinos2002's avatar

So if that’s a kid inside her? Who is the father?