Mother Nature

I think a better question is, 'What hasn't science done?'.

A little earlier in the week, Anonymous declared rule 80 on Poison Ivy, and I threw out a super rushed sketch to appease the beast with my personal brand of drawfaggotry. Took me a while to finish it though, since I wanted to refine it from the sketch and all.

Anyway, Darien helped by throwing the flavor text together since I've been on sort of a dry spell when it comes to wordsmithing.

So, enjoy until next time, same bat time, same bat channel!

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Harley was going to pay for this.


Ivy was confident of that.

She just had to figure out how her psychotic little cohort had done it first, that was all. Nine months of research had revealed naught. Of course, it didn't help that Harvey had levelled her lab in the process, before setting fire to the hideout, and forcing both of them to flee the scene. Yet even now her best forensic efforts hadn't quite been able to figure out what Harley's alchemical tinkering had created. Depending on which telling she believed, Harley had either been trying to make tea with her plant fertilisers, or trying to make laughing gas with her toxins when she created "Harley's Marvellous Medicine".The whole thing was a better riddle than anything that bumbling super villain adorned in question marks could have come up with.

Of course, the effects were obvious and undeniable. She was pregnant.

It was just an impossible mystery as to how.

"Awww, y'look positively ripe, Red!" Harley grinned over her shoulder. "Ready to pop." The girl's comment was accompanied by an actual Pop as pin met balloon in her hands.

Ivy merely glared at her.

"Lighten up, Red." Harley shoved her playfully.

"Uh- oh- gosh- I didn't break your water, did I?"

Liquid splashed against Ivy's feet.

She might have fallen for it. If it weren't the third time Harley had tried the same joke this week. As it was, she knew very well that her partner in crime currently had an empty jug of water in her hand, tipped sharply a little behind her backside. To Harley's credit, at least this time she had managed to spill the water on the floor. The first time she attempted the prank she had ended up spilling water all over Ivy's posterior, ruining any illusion that she was going into labour, but succeeding in sending a chill right up her spine. The second time she had decided the safest route was to drop the whole jug. Somehow, Ivy was able to distinguish between the sound of water breaking, and the sound of glass breaking.

Reflexively, her fist shot back square into Harley's face, as a growl escaped her lips.

Maternity hadn't exactly taught her patience.

In her own way the clown had tried to make light of the situation, and help her friend deal with the little bundle of "joy". Unfortunately she had extremely limited success in breadwinning, the only thing that they really needed right now. More often than not, rather than going on heists she simply sat around in her underwear trying to "watch TV with her niece". Ivy had not yet managed to beat it into Harley's skull that it was not her niece, the baby could not watch TV in utero, and that she would not want her daughter watching the same mind rotting Saturday morning cartoons as Harley.

Not that that had stopped her from switching over to nature documentaries and dozing off in front of the TV.

She appreciated the effort on Harley's part, misguided though it may be. The thought of someone helping her was enough to make the whole bothersome process a lot less tiring. Even as her hormones wore away at the callous she had developed for Harley's behaviour, she tried to remain patient.

But Harley had used up her daily allotment of patience.

The gift of the watermelon T-Shirt was just beyond a joke.